Killing Time

(written on 03 FEB, during prep for GI scopes)

I am writing and posting this blog entry merely for the sole fact that it will keep me busy. I am by no means responsible in what I say due to the delirium brought on by starvation. Read at your own risk.

The household woke up at about 740ish. Typically by then I would be getting ready to cart of Kid 1 to school, but I decided since its not Finals week of Senior Year that I would keep her home. Plus, I have some crafts/activities planned, so it should be fun. Not “Chuck E Cheese” fun, but also not just parking them in front of the TV.

0815 :: Making the kids’ breakfast wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be. A cup of tea for me. Whoo.

9:45 :: Busted out the play doh for the kids. BOOM. Best mom ever, and it gives me time to deep clean some stuff around the house since my ‘prep’ hasn’t technically started yet. Had a cup of chicken broth, and it immediately made my stomach hurt. Apparently the sodium in it was not welcome.

1130 :: I’m not as hungry as I thought I would be, but making the kids’ lunch was pretty painful. For my prep today I made it a point to give them food I am not necessarily a fan of, but I caught myself wanting to just lick the strawberry yogurt covered raisins.

1200 :: Bottle number one of Magnesium Citrate on the schedule. Aaaaaaaaand it won’t open. I briefly thought about going to my neighbor, but quickly realized everyone here works. It took all I had to open the bottle. #WeakSauce. Also, the drink is DISGUSTING and insanely sweet. Why can’t things be unflavored? It takes an embarrassing amount of time to drink just a mere ten ounces of it.

1205 :: Immediately start burping like crazy and nausea sets in. I’m internally freaking out a bit, because the doctor’s office doesn’t say anything about puking this up against your will. Keep busy, keep distracted.

1300 :: Random nap time, for about 30 minutes.

1400 :: THIS SHIT IS AWFUL. Second (and final) bottle of Magnesium Citrate. Instead of shooting the ten ounces of melted Lemonhead laxative, I dilute it into two separate bottles totaling 50 ounces each. I’m giving myself 30 minutes to drink it all. To pour salt on the wound, the kids are snacking on trail mix and applesauce, and my darling daughter is offering to split it all with me. So sweet, so young, so naïve.

1430 :: Ok, totally finishing these bottles in the next 15 minutes.

1445 :: By the hour. Totally by the hour.

1500 :: I resorted to calling the Doctor’s office to see if I totally messed this up by not finishing the ten ounces in time. She said to take my time. I wanted to kiss her through the phone.

1700 :: Kid’s dinner time. The upside to all the nausea is definitely that I have zero desire to eat. Which is good, because 24 hours ago I couldn’t fathom not eating for longer than two hours.

1807 :: Hunger hit like a sum bitch. OMG.

1853 :: Fixed a warm bowl of chicken bouillon. Delicious. I wish I was kidding but that stupid Magnesium Citrate left a nasty, sickly sweet metallic taste in my mouth.

1855 :: I keep daydreaming about my next meal. Not sure what I’ll have. It’s suggested I eat something easy to chew, as coming out of sedation might make it hard to masticate. I think they underestimate my hunger. Ideally, a huge steak, sweet potato and bacon wrapped asparagus…

1903 :: My bloating is ridiculous. You would think that being on laxatives all day would keep one feeling slim and thin; not the case.

2000  :: Kids in bed. This is where it gets hairy – I definitely require a snack before bed so this will be quite painful.

2038 :: I would literally lick a stamp for sustenance at this point. Took a shower and head to bed, for the sake of making time pass.

Killing Time

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