It was bound to happen.

Double stroller. Wind. Hills. I don’t know why I kid myself with these things, but I thought it would be fun to get out with the kids and run today. I have had some amazing runs lately, and the running gods must have sensed me getting cocky. I know I talk a lot about the wind here, but it is truly something that I have grown to absolutely loathe.  I don’t know if it’s just me, but it really is horrible.

I did a 3 mile loop today, and it took me 36 minutes. Granted, when I have the double stroller all bets are off, but I still wanted to manage a ten minute mile. I figured, ‘No big deal, I got this!’ For the first quarter mile, the wind was coming at me to my front-right. I made a slight turn, and for the next half mile or so it was coming at me front-left. I was looking forward to the next bend, because based on COMMON SENSE, the wind would be ‘pushing’ me – a stretch of the loop that itself was almost a mile long. I made the turn and was met with a freaking WALL OF WIND, I can only compare it to what must be like being suffocated; the sensation actually stuffs up your nose, and dries out your mouth and throat. It was awful. I was reduced to a walk, and not a brisk one, the kind that I had to bend over to physically push the stroller up hills. I lucked out and hit a downhill, that I still walked down, and some soldier sprinted past me wearing a gas mask. SERIOUSLY. In all honesty, it was probably easier. I’ve run in a gas mask before, and though the constraint and moisture of it suck, I would at least be able to breathe.

Honestly, you probably think I am making this up. So, to prove to you that wind truly is everywhere here, I Googled Oklahoma wind patterns. I came across this published paper “The Climate of Oklahoma” by Climatologist Derek Ardnt, and in it he states, “The winter wind regime is bimodal, with roughly equal split between northerly and southerly winds. In a diurnal sense, prevailing winds tend to oscillate from southeast to southwest to southeast from sunrise to sunset to sunrise…” So, in short, what Mr. Ardnt is saying, is that wind in Oklahoma is FUCKING EVERYWHERE, at any given moment at any given time. Now, this paper was dated 2003, so I don’t really know how Al Gore and his global warming have affected this, so whatever.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pretend that run didn’t happen.

It was bound to happen.

3 thoughts on “It was bound to happen.

  1. What an ass. You should’ve kicked him squaw in the nuts, then thanked him for his service.


    But not really. You never cease to amaze me, with all that you have going on, and still getting out there and kicking ass (not G.I. nuts). No matter how long it took, you got out into that OK wind with your kiddos and got it done.

  2. How big were the kids in the stroller? Were you drinking nuun and wearing a sparkly skirt? Didn’t think so. There’s your speed problem. That shit is MAGIC.

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