Sorry to those who thought I fell off the planet.
In blogging, I know that there are certain aspects of your life you are willing to share, and others that may not make headlines. The past couple of weeks I have avoided blogs in general, and came close to deleting the blog. Why? Let me be dramatic. With my decrease in activity, I felt completely despondent; bordering on depressed. I moped around the house, cranky and irritable. I hated seeing that everyone was running. I even made the bold declaration that I am never running again, and that I never even liked it anyway.
Though this feeling has eased up a bit, there is still a bit of ‘cloud’ that I carry with me. Ugh, I still have 11 weeks to go. I should at least be walking. I am such a loser for not being able to do this. Why should I even bother getting back into it afterwards? I’m not even good at running. Maybe I should just find a different hobby. Yes, this is a look into a dramatic, pregnant lady’s mind. There are still times I firmly believe in these statements, but, I do not feel this way constantly. I know I’ll get back out there. Yes, my mind is fully functional, and I know that these emotions are silly and immature. Of course I love running. I hate not doing so, and I was/am just being a brat that isn’t getting her way.
Having my parents here was a great buffer. I focused on spending time with those I loved, instead of drowning in work/housewife stuff and living my eternal Groundhog Day. This whole not-running-thing is putting a lot into perspective. Amongst other things, #1 – I make irrational, dumb, and less than stellar decisions when not active, and I should at least get out and breathe fresh air for at least 30 minutes a day. I owe it to my sanity. #2 – I have horrible self confidence and am WAY too hard on myself. #3 – the world will not end if the dishes are not done, laundry isn’t folded and put away, the toys aren’t picked up, the floor isn’t vacuumed, etc.
So anyway, this post was a lot of rambling, but that is where I have been. Avoiding you all completely, sulking, and making myself promises that I will hopefully keep. Today, ironically, I felt like running. I’m to the point now where a run/walk would probably be more conducive to my pregnant body, which ironically, has stopped aching so much. I am curious to see if this stems from being out and about with my family – it would only make sense. Pre-pregnancy, my body would start getting random aches and pains if I went too long without running. It was as if getting up and moving was literally lubricating and refreshing my joints and muscles. Weird, I know.
Well then, thanks for making it through all that. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.
Have you ever felt this way? Maybe during injury or prolonged time away from something you love doing?
Do you think that you literally need running/cycling/hiking/another hobby in your life?
Can YOU believe its not butter??