Well well well. Here I sit, having just run, trying to figure out a way to put this blog post together.
It is gorgeous today; you can see Mt. Rainier clear as ever, as well as the Cascades. The sun is bright in the sky, temperatures are in the low 40s, and there is a slight chill in the air. Again, downright beautiful.
I let lunch digest and decided to pack up the kiddo and head out for a run. I told myself that I would do “2 or 3”, but that I also wanted to walk further out into Fort Lewis and get a really good view of the mountains. I have yet to snap a picture of the snow covered mountains, and I also timed this for my daughter’s naptime so that everything was falling into place, time-wise.
Well, I got about a mile in, got cramps, and decided to take a small break. I tried not to let it deflate me, and thought of numerous ways to make them go away. After walking around a little and drinking some water, I decided to give it another go after I felt normal, but could only make it a half mile. Not only did the cramps start back up again, but contractions did as well.
This is where I hit a mental standstill, even after dwelling on it for so long after the fact. I’m pissed and upset; but I also have a little miracle growing, so I am trying not to be too negative about the whole thing.
I just don’t get it. I drink water constantly throughout the day, so the fact that the cramps/contractions keep coming back is alarming. The good news is that once I started walking the rest of the way home, I didn’t have anything going on.
I’m questioning my body big time. Was I ever really in shape? Why is this so hard to do all of a sudden? Should I even keep trying? Why bother?
To everyone else I am sure this sounds dramatic. I think I’m going to try out a FitSplint, and if that doesn’t work, well then I think my running days are numbered. I’m coming to terms with that, but I know that I will bounce back. It might take awhile, I might ‘just’ walk from here on out; but its not the end of the world.
Anyway. Thanks for listening to my rambles. Hopefully I’ll be a little more positive tomorrow