pas·sion // 1. A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger. // 2. a. Ardent love. b. Strong sexual desire; lust.c. The object of such love or desire. // 3. a. Boundless enthusiasm: His skills as a player don’t quite match his passion for the game. b. The object of such enthusiasm: Soccer is her passion.
For the record, let’s just go ahead and ignore 2b… I’ve written about passion before. At the time, I was looking for some physical to do; something to fall in love with, something to take up my time. In May, I was also new to the area – unsure of where to go, how to go about gallivanting around town; I was the equivalent to the nervous new kid in class.
Long story short - I’m questioning myself a lot lately.
Can I seriously chalk up my ‘favorites’ to ‘passions’? Do I dare? I mean honestly, what will I be remembered for? Sure, I am a mother, wife and daughter. But – can I really say that my interests qualify as passions?… Passion!! That’s SUCH an intimidating word!!
running :: I say I love running. But do I really?? I’m the first to stay inside when the weather is crappy. I talk a big game, but my times are mediocre at best, and I haven’t even run a marathon. To me, this thought is pretty depressing, and it hangs over my head like a cloud.
music and arts :: I could spend days in museums, listen to smooth classical music all day long as it drips from my speakers. In college I took an Art History class – I did excellent, and [personally] wanted to change my major to the subject. I can’t draw a stinkin’ stick figure, but I truly appreciate the arts.
cooking :: I can’t exactly say I’m good at it, but I love cooking. And not just throwing together a dinner, but following a hearty, challenging recipe. Standing over a stove and making anything from scratch is so therapeutic. French Cooking is my absolute favorite; and if I had the unlimited time, I would cook and bake all day.
my faith :: This is something that I have been quietly wrestling with. For the longest time I kept God in the dark, mainly out of anger. In the past year, my heart is pulling for a Bible study, regular church going, and I thirst for knowledge of my faith and how it came to be.
yoga :: I hesitated on putting this up here, because while I want to be passionate about it, I’m downright horrible at it. I can barely touch my toes, but will buy Yoga Journal when I have the chance; and I yearn for the day that I can actually have a ‘practice’ not a once-a-month-for-30-minutes-while-child-naps fling.
I want to have passions for all of these things. I want to study all of these things incessantly, know them inside and out, and not have a question as to what propels me. I realize that these passions might morph over time, and I’m ok with that. I hope that while I will always have a passion for running; that maybe my focus will shift from completing a marathon, to getting faster as I grow older, or being smarter about nutrition. Maybe in 10 years I will come out of my Renaissance/Baroque obsession and focus on Early American Art. Indian food instead of French cuisine. You get my drift.
I’m not good at any of these things, but I want so badly to be.
“it is not good to have zeal without knowledge” – proverbs 19.2
What is your passion? How did it come to be – did it manifest over time or spring up over night? Do you have something you wish you were passionate about?