Craving. Thirsting For. Desiring.


This fatigue is seriously kicking my butt. I look forward to gaining some energy in the next trimester. It’s a couple of weeks away, just have to focus on the bigger picture! Going hand in hand with physical fatigue, I apparently have a nasty case of mental fatigue as well. Work is piling up, blog posts are going unwritten, and I consider making dinner a huge accomplishment.

Don’t get me wrong – this post isn’t a whine! Sleeping 12 hours a day [embarrassed to admit this], chasing after kiddo, household duties – leaves little time to do anything else.

With that said, I braved the weather last night and went for a brisk 3 miler. I waited all day for this, but when the time came, I just didn’t have the energy. Luckily, my husband did everything short of tying my shoes for me, and bribed pushed coerced saw me out the door.

Breathing in the fall air, I felt a renewed energy almost swallowing me whole. I had my music pounding, my legs pumping – only to pass my mile mark in a sad 9:47. Tears brimming my eyes, I was upset at myself for being so sedentary these last few weeks. I thought I was moving faster than this – heck, my long run was at a pace faster than this. But, instead of wallowing in the failure of the first mile; I cut myself some slack, and decided I’d turn the burners on for the next two miles. The next mile was 9:23 [phew, better] and the third coming in at 8:29, with an overall pace of 9:16.

Icing on the cake? I sprinted the last half mile home – with the watch registering a 6:56 pace as the mileage hit 3.00 miles. Just seeing this number gave me goosebumps and elated me a level that only running can.

I NEEDED a run like this. I have been craving it; yearning for the burn in my lungs, the flushing in my face and the tightness in my legs. Maybe, subconsciously, I wasn’t running because I had been in a slump and I was afraid of what the watch might say. But last night, that changed – I will take advantage of every run. Maybe they won’t will all be run at a blistering pace, but maybe they will. Maybe I’ll have off days, maybe I won’t.

But I at least owe it to myself to at least try.

Craving. Thirsting For. Desiring.