what to do, what to do…

So forgive the lack of blogging… life has been a tad crazy lately, and I’ve only ran twice since my half. I’m going be honest. I don’t really feel too bad about. Yes, I miss it – kind of. I know I should be running, and I have also already accepted the fact that this is probably going to suck. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, or how to fix it. I ran yesterday, had a decent pace and thoroughly enjoyed myself. I just don’t know If I want to do it again tonight. Wait… yes I do… if I’m not busy… I honestly don’t know what’s going on – things are definitely on the upswing, big news is finally came through. I’m not upset, in any way, so not enjoying myself makes zero sense to me.

I’ve heard the phrase ‘the hardest part, is getting out the door’. It has never been more evident than it is now, I can almost hear it pounding in the back of my mind. There are times where I get fired up about running, ready to go; all too often I unfortunately think these thoughts while at work, while the kiddo’s napping – times where going on a run is out of the question. While at work I’m looking into marathons, more halves, training plans, and I talk running with random co-workers. As it stands right now, I feel pretty ashamed to call myself a runner. I can’t bring myself to look at my running gear without feeling totally guilty, and I don’t even want to begin to think about what my brother would be saying to me right now…

Anyway, to help get out of this slump, my AMAZING husband purchased a running stroller. I don’t know if I’m ‘burnt out’. I realized that if I’m not running at 0430, I don’t get a chance to run at all. It’s not fair to our daughter, for me to run later in the day; especially being so exhausted throughout the day due to running so early. It’s definitely not fair to my parents, they watch her during the day and I don’t want to keep asking them. It’s not fair to me, as starting the day at that hour is borderline insane – waking up at hour, if you don’t have to, sucks; even if it’s something you enjoy. Now I get to share my love of running with my daughter. I know she’s going to love it. This kid already wants every waking hour spent outside, bolting to the back door the moment we step in the house. I can’t wait, and I’m sure it’ll take awhile to get used to, but I think this is exactly the push I need.

what to do, what to do…

One thought on “what to do, what to do…

  1. Elizabeth says:

    A running stroller will be my first request someday when we have a baby! Hope you can get back into the swing of things. My motivation definitely goes in cycles.

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