Contrary to popular belief, I actually am not a fan of baking. To me, baking means a million ingredients, exact measurements, detailed instructions, gooey messes, ridiculous waiting times and nonsense that will just make me feel fat. But it makes the house smell nice so I let it slide.
Over the course of two days I have baked my booty off. It started off as fun, but now I’m to the point where I curse myself for tackling this project, and just wait until I get to decorating the sugar cookies because the act of icing is so unnecessarily tedious.
Without further ado here is my lighthearted approach to my annual attack on my late mother-in-law’s Christmas Cookie Recipes:
- Have you ever noticed how FAST extract comes out!? Seriously, it comes out at such rapid speed. Personally, I think the spout on the extract bottle is WAY too wide. I have yet to come across a recipe that needs more than one measly teaspoon of extract. This means I’m trying to balance my teeny tiny teaspoon … spoon against a gargantuan extract bottle. Not even fair.
- I am so clumsy in the kitchen an apron wouldn’t even help me. In the time it took to make thumbprints, I got peanut butter on my shirt collar and batter on my elbow. Classy.
- With my daughter, I was pregnant January-September. I never had to experience this before, but being pregnant and not being able to eat raw cookie dough at Christmastime is a buzz kill.
- The salt. I feel like such a rebel because I never use salt. Honestly though, what gives with the whole “1/8 tsp.”?? I am rolling my eyes at this.
- You need 236 things to bake. Cookie sheets, sifter, spoons of all shapes and sizes, aluminum foil, cooling rack, whisk… And if you’re tackling more than one recipe at a time, you will need to wash all of these items just to use them again.
- Confession: I don’t know how big/small a ‘1 inch ball of dough’ really is. If I were to go out run a mile blindly, I am willing to bet I could pinpoint it within a few feet. A ‘1 inch ball of dough’ is my nemesis, and now I’m left with 29 unwrapped Hershey kisses when in fact I was supposed to use all 48.
- Baking will make you want to burn down your kitchen. Its 3 pm, and the thought of making dinner sends me into conniptions.
- Getting almond extract on your phone will make it smell like marzipan. I imagine I will be gnawing on my phone in my sleep now, because I am a fool for some marzipan. [marzipan = almond paste. I didn’t know this until earlier this year]
One unrelated baking post though ::
Is your Facebook this bossy!?
What is your favorite Christmas cookie?
Are you a pie or cake person?