Observations in Baking and a Facebook DEMAND

Contrary to popular belief, I actually am not a fan of baking. To me, baking means a million ingredients, exact measurements, detailed instructions, gooey messes, ridiculous waiting times and nonsense that will just make me feel fat. But it makes the house smell nice so I let it slide.

Over the course of two days I have baked my booty off. It started off as fun, but now I’m to the point where I curse myself for tackling this project, and just wait until I get to decorating the sugar cookies because the act of icing is so unnecessarily tedious.

Without further ado here is my lighthearted approach to my annual attack on my late mother-in-law’s Christmas Cookie Recipes:

- Have you ever noticed how FAST extract comes out!? Seriously, it comes out at such rapid speed. Personally, I think the spout on the extract bottle is WAY too wide. I have yet to come across a recipe that needs more than one measly teaspoon of extract. This means I’m trying to balance my teeny tiny teaspoon … spoon against a gargantuan extract bottle. Not even fair.

- I am so clumsy in the kitchen an apron wouldn’t even help me. In the time it took to make thumbprints, I got peanut butter on my shirt collar and batter on my elbow. Classy.

- With my daughter, I was pregnant January-September. I never had to experience this before, but being pregnant and not being able to eat raw cookie dough at Christmastime is a buzz kill.

- The salt. I feel like such a rebel because I never use salt. Honestly though, what gives with the whole “1/8 tsp.”?? I am rolling my eyes at this.

- You need 236 things to bake. Cookie sheets, sifter, spoons of all shapes and sizes, aluminum foil, cooling rack, whisk… And if you’re tackling more than one recipe at a time, you will need to wash all of these items just to use them again.

- Confession: I don’t know how big/small a ‘1 inch ball of dough’ really is. If I were to go out run a mile blindly, I am willing to bet I could pinpoint it within a few feet. A ‘1 inch ball of dough’ is my nemesis, and now I’m left with 29 unwrapped Hershey kisses when in fact I was supposed to use all 48.

- Baking will make you want to burn down your kitchen. Its 3 pm, and the thought of making dinner sends me into conniptions.

- Getting almond extract on your phone will make it smell like marzipan. I imagine I will be gnawing on my phone in my sleep now, because I am a fool for some marzipan. [marzipan = almond paste. I didn’t know this until earlier this year]

One unrelated baking post though ::

Is your Facebook this bossy!?

What is your favorite Christmas cookie?

Are you a pie or cake person?

Really Old GU, Ice Cream, and A Run.

I am totally owning my to do list. In fact, I have entertained the thought of getting our suitcases out tonight and start packing early. Granted, laying around and watching Modern Family sounds MUCH better… but someone around here has to be the responsible adult and my husband is already pulling his weight…

So here’s a recap of how my Tuesday went.

I finally cleaned out my running cabinet and GU collection. I had to throw away about $10 worth of old GU and GU Chomps. Ugh. I hate wasting money like that, but for some reason I was holding on to a mint chocolate GU from 2007. Do you REALIZE how many MILES this packet has travelled, none of which include running?! Depending on where I lived when I bought it, this little GU packet has lived in Ohio, in three different residences in Texas, back to Ohio, Oklahoma, and Washington state. Ridiculous. 

This little text was Heaven sent. I have had this emissions test bugging me all week; not because I thought our car would fail, but because I really didn’t feel like lugging a toddler to a testing place, then back to post to show documentation, get tags etc. It was just one of those nuisances, but my hero came through and took care of it.

Then I made Ghirardelli Turtle Brownies, which taste way more awesome than what the picture portrays. That’s actually ooey gooey caramel, not cheese…….. which I may or may not have eaten straight from the packet. There really should be way more caramel.

Then the bump and I went to the gym, where we ran into numerous Zumba moms and Korean sauna ladies that walk around naked and will ask you what time the commissary closes as they scratch their underboob. Not kidding. Also, please don’t tell my mom I posted a bump picture because she would kill me, but I figured I’ll be with her soon enough and I know she’ll take plenty of pictures then.

This technically happened Monday night but it was too cute to not include. Baby girl ended her night with her first plank. It was hilarious, and she tried planking the dog, whom was none too pleased.

And the night ended with a nuked brownie, topped with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup while watching Last Man Standing. Yes, I eat my ice cream [and soup] out of a mug. I dislike touching extreme colds/hots, and I’m a huge wimp, so I  play it safe. My husband makes fun of me all the time for this.

If there was ONE kind of ice cream you could eat for the rest of your life what would it be?

What is the oldest food in your fridge/pantry? You’re checking your GU dates now, aren’t you?